Ask for help at work

tonen gives you clear scripts for asking for help respectfully and confidently at work.

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“I could use a bit of help with this task. Could we look at it together for a few minutes?”

“I am finding this difficult to manage on my own. Could we discuss support options?”

“I want to do this well, and I need some guidance on the next step.”

How to ask for instructions in writing

Ask for the format that helps you do the task. You can describe your communication preference without sharing a diagnosis or personal history. These examples are written for this page; adapt them to your workplace.

A short spoken request

“I find it easier to follow the steps when I can refer back to them. Could you send the instructions in writing, including the deadline?”

An email you can adapt

Subject: Written instructions for [task]

Hi [name],

Thanks for talking me through [task]. I work best when I have the steps to refer back to. Could you send a short written outline covering what the finished work should include, the deadline and which part to prioritise?

If there is an existing checklist or example, a link would help. I can also draft a summary for you to check.

Thanks,
[your name]

Confirm what you heard after a meeting

“To check I have understood: I will prepare [deliverable] by [date and time], starting with [priority]. I am waiting for [information] from [person]. Is that right, and is anything missing?”

Mark uncertain points as questions. Sending a summary does not mean the other person has agreed to it.

If instructions are still only given verbally

“Could we pause while I note the steps? I will send you the summary afterwards. The part I still need confirmed is [question].”

If a full outline is not available, ask for one worked example or the first step and deadline. If unclear instructions are blocking the work, name the consequence: “I cannot choose between these two approaches without clarification. Who can confirm which one to use?”

Copyable task and priorities template

  • Task: [what I am doing]
  • Finished result: [what to produce, with an example if available]
  • Steps: [first, next, then]
  • Deadline: [date, time and any interim check-in]
  • Priority: [what comes first; what can wait]
  • Needed from others: [information, access or decision, and who can provide it]
  • Questions to confirm: [anything still unclear]

Use your workplace’s approved place for task notes. Include only the information needed for the work.

If the difficulty is choosing words for another situation, see workplace conversation scripts. For checking what a response means, try ways to ask for clarification.

Start with the free tools

Start with 21 free scripts, Box Breathing, 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding and one free use each of Reply Helper, Perspective Helper and Debrief. Premium adds the full script library, Phone Call Mode, Body Scan, Safe Place and 50 requests per week shared across the three Helpers.

Scripts and available Calm exercises work offline. The Helpers need an internet connection. tonen supports English, German, French and Spanish.

Make the request easy to answer

Tell the person what you are working on, what you have tried and what help would move it forward. Request a specific action or a short meeting. You can ask in writing if that gives you more time to explain. These examples are written for this guide.

Name the point where you are stuck

“I have completed the first two steps. I am stuck on matching these figures. Could you check one example with me?”

More workplace scripts

Ask for a time

“Could we spend ten minutes on this before 3 pm? If today is full, who else could help?”

How tonen scripts work