Replying to a message
Find wording, ask what someone means, or take time before replying.
The tonen journal
Insights, updates, and resources for neurodivergent people navigating social conversations.
What do you need words for?
Start with the situation you are in. Make the examples your own.
Saying no and setting boundaries
Choose a clear limit and words you can come back to.
Conversations at work
Ask for support, discuss a workload or prepare for feedback.
Preparing to speak
Plan an opener and keep words for pausing close by.
After a conversation
Separate what happened from what you are imagining, and choose a next step.
Taking a pause
Find a feeling word or a simple exercise before continuing.
Explore tonen for autistic adults, people with ADHD, people with social anxiety and introverts.
Choosing a tool? Compare tonen with Calm, Replika or Wysa, or explore conversation scripts in tonen.
Guides
How to decline a request politely: decide, clarify and respond
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Conversation apps for iPhone: drafts, calls and appointment questions
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10 communication tools for relationships, compared by task
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Conflict resolution scripts for difficult conversations
•6 min read
More Articles
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How to reframe negative thoughts without dismissing yourself
Separate an observation from an interpretation, consider a balanced alternative and choose a practical next step.
3 min read
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Social scripts: write, adapt and use your own wording
Choose a communication task, draft a phrase and keep support available, without a fixed sentence ratio, required rehearsal or promises of anxiety reduction.
7 min read
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Social anxiety help: finding support and preparing a request
Find wording for seeking care, discussing communication needs and preparing a request, without requiring a calming routine or removing ongoing support.
7 min read
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Helping someone with social anxiety: ask, listen and offer choices
Ask what support someone wants, agree your role and offer practical help without prescribing exposure or removing their communication supports.
6 min read
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Social anxiety: understanding the difficulty and asking for help
Recognise when fear of judgement is affecting your life and prepare one clear request for support or a more manageable conversation.
3 min read
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5-4-3-2-1 grounding: an optional sensory exercise
Explore the five sensory prompts as an optional exercise. Skip uncomfortable steps, understand the limits and find words for asking for support.
5 min read
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Anxiety relief techniques: choose one manageable step
Try a gentle breathing option, an ordinary sensory anchor or a clear request for space, with realistic limits and room to stop.
3 min read
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8 communication options for adults with ADHD
Eight optional ways to hold your point, ask for time or another format, clarify details and confirm decisions. Original examples for adults with ADHD.
6 min read
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8 communication activities when you feel socially anxious
Prepare an opening line, ask a clear question or choose words for a pause. Eight optional communication activities with examples you can adapt.
8 min read
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How to ask for help: requests, replies and next steps
Use adaptable requests for work, study and home, choose a communication format and respond to an offer or refusal without needing perfect wording first.
8 min read
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Conversation starters for networking: questions, follow-ups and exits
Explore ten professional opening questions, direct requests and follow-up choices without promises to build trust, reduce anxiety or secure an opportunity.
9 min read
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Communication coaching apps for iPhone: wording, delivery and support
Choose an iPhone communication app by the task: finding words, reviewing delivery or getting human support. Includes a practical workplace trial.
3 min read
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Social script examples for everyday conversations
Adaptable words for asking for clarity, declining requests, setting boundaries and ending a conversation.
5 min read
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How to improve communication skills: practical habits
Use a communication preferences worksheet, practical examples and adaptable phrases to ask for what helps, clarify meaning and review one useful change.
8 min read
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Trying a communication app: free features, trials and a simple checklist
Try tonen’s free scripts and helpers before deciding on Premium. A practical checklist for wording, privacy, feature limits and App Store trial terms.
5 min read
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Choosing a social skills app for iPhone
Compare a communication task, privacy, access and costs, with tonen as a disclosed product example and clear limits on effectiveness and interpretation claims.
7 min read
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Social anxiety communication apps: try these scripts
Test whether wording support helps with an opening, a clarification or an exit, using practical scripts you can adapt.
4 min read
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Downloading a communication app: checks before you start
Check device support, features, privacy and purchase terms before downloading a communication app, then choose one practical first task in tonen.
4 min read
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What is social communication disorder?
A plain-language explanation of social communication disorder, assessment and practical ways to ask for clearer communication.
3 min read
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ADHD and repetitive thoughts: what to do when you feel stuck
Separate practical problems from repeated checking, find words for the experience and know when to ask for professional support.
3 min read
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How to ask for what you need in a relationship: requests and responses
Turn a situation into a specific request, hear the answer and check what is agreed without assuming that preparation, tone or timing guarantees connection.
7 min read
Guides
Did I do something wrong? How to ask for clarity
Ask about a specific interaction, respond to feedback and decide what to do next, without assuming that tone or a delayed reply proves something went wrong.
7 min read
Guides
What did they mean by that message? Check the missing detail
Check the thread, identify missing dates, decisions or actions, and ask a practical question without treating uncertain tone as proof of intent.
5 min read
Guides
How to say no to friends: invitations, favours and changed plans
Adapt refusals and follow-ups, distinguish a new invitation from an existing commitment, and leave room for feelings without prescribing a calming routine.
5 min read
Guides
How to respond to rude comments: questions, boundaries and exits
Choose clarification, a boundary or an exit, adapt response examples and consider support without needing to diagnose intent or guarantee de-escalation.
5 min read
Guides
Am I overthinking this situation? A practical check
Separate what happened from what you are assuming. Use a short reflection check and scripts to clarify, repair, pause or choose a next step.
6 min read
Guides
Building social confidence through preparation and choice
Choose your own goal, prepare useful wording and check what support fits. Optional communication preparation without a required practice ladder.
4 min read
Guides
How to prepare for a conversation: notes, requests and follow-up
Choose useful notes, ask about format and timing, prepare a request and record the next step without making rehearsal or calming exercises a requirement.
5 min read
Guides
Why is communication so hard? Examples and support
Wondering why is communication so hard? Explore neurodivergent perspectives on cognitive load, social cues, and overwhelm. Get strategies & tools.
7 min read
Guides
Routine and autism: preparing for changes
Build a useful plan around what is predictable, explain changes clearly and agree a fallback without turning routine into a rigid rule.
3 min read
Guides
Help wording a message: complete templates you can adapt
Copy and adapt messages for clarification, extra time, declining invitations, setting boundaries and repairing misunderstandings. Choose a tone that fits.
4 min read
Guides
Autism and ADHD: understanding overlapping experiences
Explore why outward similarities are not a diagnosis and prepare useful examples for an autism or ADHD assessment conversation.
3 min read
Guides
ADHD and imposter feelings: asking for useful feedback
A practical way to describe self-doubt, separate feedback from assumptions and ask for clearer expectations without hiding support needs.
3 min read
Guides
How to say no without being rude: handle pushback
Use clear refusal scripts, respond when someone pushes back, and distinguish a firm boundary from a hurtful remark.
4 min read
Guides
How to support neurodivergent employees: discuss, adjust and review
Discuss individual work barriers, distinguish everyday habits from adjustment duties and review practical arrangements, with links to Great Britain guidance.
7 min read
Guides
Help sending a message when you feel anxious
Adapt message templates, check the practical details and choose a follow-up without making complete calm or a perfect reaction a requirement.
5 min read
Guides
Why do I overthink texts? Describe the pattern and choose a next step
Name whether you are rereading, redrafting, checking or delaying, then choose a practical next step without assuming a diagnosis or a single cause.
5 min read
Guides
How to say something difficult: scripts to adapt
Choose words for a boundary, disagreement or change of plan, keep notes available and check the next step without needing perfect delivery or agreement.
8 min read
Guides
Choosing a tool to help you say things clearly
Identify the communication task, compare suitable features and review wording and privacy. Original examples from the team behind tonen.
5 min read
Guides
What to talk about with friends: topics and example questions
Find everyday topics, opening questions and follow-up examples for talking with friends, texting on low-energy days and reconnecting after a gap.
7 min read
Guides
How to support someone with communication
Ask what support someone wants, offer practical choices and give feedback on the message without policing their voice or body language.
3 min read
Guides
Choosing an app to improve communication skills
Choose between conversation support, speech coaching and AAC, then try practical scripts for requests, boundaries and unclear replies.
8 min read
Guides
Talking with someone who has social anxiety: ask, listen and respect choices
Offer a conversation they can decline, ask about communication preferences and respect pauses without trying to diagnose or treat another person’s anxiety.
5 min read
Guides
Help with communication: find the words you need
Choose a starting phrase for finding words, clarifying meaning, asking for written information or pausing a conversation.
4 min read
Guides
Responding to passive-aggressive behaviour without guessing intent
Describe the behaviour, clarify a practical issue and state a limit without assuming a hidden motive. Includes wording and routes to further support.
4 min read
Guides
How to set boundaries at work: workload, availability and support
Clarify workload and availability, ask for decisions and use workplace support routes without assuming a personal boundary changes your agreed responsibilities.
5 min read
Guides
How to make friends in high school: invitations and shared activities
Explore activities, try invitations that can be declined, notice shared interest and ask for support without friendship targets or app-based outcome promises.
5 min read
Guides
Using an AI tool to rewrite message tone
Compare wording, preserve your meaning and check AI drafts before sending. A guide from the tonen team with illustrative examples and privacy checks.
5 min read
Guides
Practice conversations when you feel anxious
Prepare an opening, a request and a pause with worked conversation examples for work, invitations, small talk and clarification.
5 min read
Guides
What to say when you don't know what to say
Find a sentence for thinking time, unclear questions, difficult news or setting a boundary. Eight phrases with examples you can adapt.
4 min read
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Autism communication apps: how to choose
Compare AAC, conversation scripts and organisation tools by the support you need. Check access, privacy and cost, and see where tonen fits.
6 min read
Guides
Apps for neurodivergent communication: speaking, wording and follow-through
Communication can become difficult at different points: expressing a thought, understanding a request, choosing a reply or remembering to follow up.
3 min read
Guides
Scripts for setting boundaries in everyday life
Clear boundary scripts for work, family, friends, messages and personal space, with room to use your own words.
5 min read
Guides
Communication tools for autistic adults: a practical workplace kit
A workplace communication kit can be small: a preferred way to receive instructions, somewhere to keep questions and a line for asking for time.
3 min read
Guides
Autism conversation help: choose the support that fits
Choose written questions, time, a different setting or prepared wording around your own communication goals, with clear limits on what an app can offer.
5 min read
Guides
10 conversation scripts for work, family and appointments
Ten original, editable scripts for requests, questions and limits at work, in family life and at appointments. Choose wording and a format that suit you.
5 min read
Guides
Apps for neurodivergent people: choose one task to support
A useful app makes a particular task easier to start, understand or finish.
4 min read
Guides
Free apps for autistic adults: practical tools
Compare free planning, meditation, task-breakdown and conversation tools, with clear limits and links to current publisher information.
5 min read
Guides
7 conversation tips when you feel socially anxious
Choose an opening, clarify a detail, state a limit or ask for a pause. Seven optional communication tips with wording you can adapt.
4 min read
Guides
Apps for autistic adults in 2026: compare the options
Compare planning, AAC, meditation and conversation tools by task, device and payment model, with current publisher links and clear limitations.
5 min read
Guides
Saying no when you feel guilty: what to do next
Feeling guilty after saying no? Check commitments, separate repair from overexplaining, and use follow-up wording that preserves your decision.
4 min read
Guides
ADHD and strong emotions: practical conversation strategies
Prepare a pause, ask for clearer information and repair a difficult moment without making claims about how every ADHD brain works.
3 min read
Guides
What to do when you feel hopeless: finding support
Practical words for asking for help when you feel hopeless, with urgent support routes and a manageable next step.
3 min read
Guides
Emotional dysregulation in adults: describing the difficulty
Understand what the term describes, prepare examples for a support conversation and find words for a pause or repair.
3 min read
Guides
Free anxiety apps: check the tool, the limits and the next step
A free anxiety app can provide a short exercise, a structured way to examine a worry or words for a difficult interaction.
3 min read
Guides
Mental health coaching: questions to ask before choosing support
Clarify what a coach offers, check qualifications and boundaries, and distinguish goal support from assessment or treatment.
3 min read
Guides
Expressing your feelings: deciding what and how to share
Choose what to share, who to tell and a format that works for you. Practical openings, pause phrases and a plan for a feelings conversation.
7 min read
Guides
Frequency of emotions: noticing patterns without judging them
Track how often a feeling appears, separately from its intensity, and use a small observation to explain what you need.
3 min read
Guides
Autistic meltdown and shutdown: understanding support needs
Understand visible and less visible overwhelm, with practical ways to offer space, reduce demands and agree communication support.
3 min read
Guides
How to advocate for yourself: clear requests and follow-up scripts
Turn a difficulty into a specific request. Use example wording for work, family and appointments, including pauses, pushback and follow-up.
4 min read
Guides
Understanding a confusing situation: facts, questions and next steps
Separate observations from interpretations, ask a clear question and choose a next step without assuming you know another person’s intentions.
4 min read
Guides
A simple mood check-in: notice, name, ask
Use three short prompts to describe how you feel and decide what support you need, without turning mood tracking into another obligation.
3 min read
Guides
Making sense of someone's behaviour without assuming the cause
Describe what happened, ask for a practical change and consider boundaries without inferring a motive, diagnosis or neurotype.
5 min read
Guides
Free feelings wheel PDF downloads: colour and black and white
Open free printable feelings wheel PDFs in colour or black and white. Find verified publisher links, printing tips and scripts to express what you feel.
6 min read
Guides
Handling conflict in relationships: requests, pauses and follow-up
Prepare a specific request, choose a workable format and plan pauses and follow-up without fixed calming times or guaranteed relationship outcomes.
5 min read
Guides
When a social situation feels off: checking what you need
Check your surroundings, information and support needs when a social situation feels uncomfortable, without assuming the cause or a diagnosis.
5 min read
Guides
How to understand if someone is serious
Direct clarification questions and practical ways to discuss intentions without relying on tone or body language as proof.
3 min read
Guides
Overthinking social events: practical questions and next steps
Find the practical question before or after a social event. Original wording for planning, clarification and support without instant-relief promises.
5 min read
Guides
Making sense of a sudden reaction without assuming the cause
Separate observations from possible explanations, ask for a pause or clarification, and prepare questions for support without assuming a diagnosis.
5 min read
Guides
ADHD and making friends: invitations, replies and staying in touch
Explore invitations, reminders, late replies and friendship boundaries, with room for individual ADHD support needs and mutual interest.
11 min read
Guides
Emotional exhaustion: signs to notice and support to ask for
Feeling drained, irritable or unable to concentrate? Describe the change, reduce one demand and know when to seek advice.
3 min read
Guides
Why did someone react that way? What to check before responding
Check what happened, ask about the practical issue and decide whether to repair a mistake, set a limit or pause without assuming the cause.
5 min read
Guides
Did I misread something? Questions and clarification examples
Check what is unclear, ask a specific question and decide whether to follow up, with examples that leave room for uncertainty and boundaries.
5 min read
Guides
Choosing a self-care app that fits one real need
Evaluate a wellbeing app’s purpose, accessibility, privacy and price without assuming more features mean better support.
3 min read
Guides
How to express your feelings in words when you cannot find them
Describe what happened, how it affected you or what you need—even without a precise feeling word. Includes scripts for friends, family and work.
6 min read
Guides
Interpreting a social situation: check what you need to know
Separate observations from guesses, confirm practical details and ask for clearer communication without assuming someone’s intent.
5 min read
Guides
Get perspective on a confusing situation
Separate facts from possible interpretations, use worked examples and choose what to ask, do or leave uncertain next.
5 min read
Guides
How to not sound rude: clear phrases you can adapt
Before-and-after wording for requests, disagreement and boundaries. Be direct and considerate without extra apologies or promises you cannot keep.
8 min read
Guides
How to regulate emotions during a difficult conversation
Notice what is happening, ask for space and choose a response that respects both your feelings and the situation.
3 min read
Guides
Understanding hidden meaning in messages: ask without guessing
Unsure whether a message contains an indirect request? Separate the literal words from your interpretation, then use these scripts to ask clearly.
6 min read
Guides
Talking it through: agree a topic, a format and a next step
Prepare a discussion with a clear purpose, a usable format, example requests and an agreed next step, with room to pause or disagree.
5 min read
Guides
10 practical preparation tips when you feel socially anxious
Prepare a question, choose a communication format or plan a pause. Ten optional ideas with example wording and a route to professional support.
5 min read
Guides
Communication apps for autistic adults’ appointments
Prepare an appointment note, ask for time and clarification, and request written next steps using wording you can adapt.
5 min read
Guides
How to read someone's tone in a text: clues and words to check
Read tone in texts without treating punctuation as proof. Use context, practical examples and short scripts to check what someone means.
6 min read
Guides
Coping with social anxiety: plan, pause and ask for support
Prepare one task, request a pause or different format, and ask about professional support. Practical wording without promises of instant or lasting relief.
5 min read
Guides
Help understanding someone's response: what to ask next
Unsure what a reply means? Use examples and clarification scripts to separate facts from guesses, ask for details and decide what to say next.
7 min read
Guides
How to set boundaries with friends: clear limits and practical replies
Distinguish requests from your own limits, adapt replies and consider next steps without promises to prevent upset, remove guilt or preserve a friendship.
8 min read
Guides
Autism: understanding individual communication needs
A clear introduction to autism, varied support needs and practical ways to make everyday communication more accessible.
3 min read
Guides
Social anxiety: practical preparation and when to seek support
Prepare words for a difficult task, ask for a different format and plan questions about support. Communication preparation is separate from treatment.
5 min read
Guides
Using social anxiety apps without repeated message checking
A worked example for drafting, sending and reflecting without asking an app to guarantee how someone will respond.
4 min read
Guides
What did they mean? Clarifying an unclear phrase or request
Find the missing detail in a phrase or request, ask a specific question and confirm the next step without treating tone or a tool’s suggestion as proof.
5 min read
Guides
Autism communication apps: access and privacy checks
Test a communication app with practical access, offline and privacy checks before relying on it or subscribing.
5 min read
Guides
How to say difficult things clearly and respectfully
Make requests, raise concerns and respond to disagreement without assuming that careful wording can prevent upset or guarantee agreement.
8 min read
Guides
What does neurodivergent mean?
Understand neurodivergent and neurodiversity as terms, without turning a broad label into assumptions about somebody’s abilities or needs.
3 min read
Guides
Demand avoidance and autism: reducing pressure together
A careful explanation of demand avoidance, the limits of the PDA label and practical language for agreeing manageable next steps.
3 min read
Guides
Feeling overwhelmed at work: workload and support conversations
Prepare a workload discussion, ask for priority decisions and explore support routes. Practical examples without burnout or productivity promises.
5 min read
Guides
Autistic and autism: language, assessment and support
Understand autism language, ask about individual communication needs and prepare questions for an assessment service, with links to NHS guidance.
4 min read
Guides
Nervous laughter: why it happens and what to do
Understand nervous laughter, find practical ways to pause, and use short scripts to explain your reaction during feedback, conflict or upsetting news.
7 min read
Guides
How to talk to your doctor about ADHD
Prepare honest examples, describe their impact and ask about assessment and next steps without needing to prove a diagnosis.
3 min read
Guides
How to speak to people: starting, continuing and ending a conversation
Try openings, follow-up questions, pauses and clear endings, with flexible communication options and limits on what preparation or an app can do.
8 min read
Guides
Finding autism help: ask for support that fits your needs
Identify the difficulty you need help with, prepare a clear request and find reliable UK information about autism support.
3 min read
Guides
How to be engaging in a conversation: listening and sharing the turn
Explore follow-up questions, related stories, explicit checks and flexible turn-taking without fixed body-language rules or a talking-time target.
8 min read
Guides
Guided meditation for children: a gentle optional activity
A short parent-led noticing exercise, with choices, permission to stop and guidance on keeping children’s support age-appropriate.
3 min read
Guides
Autism and job interviews: preparation and adjustment requests
Prepare truthful examples, ask about the interview process and discuss adjustments, with links to Great Britain employment guidance and room for individual choices.
5 min read
Guides
How to handle difficult conversations: clarify, discuss and follow up
Prepare a clear issue, discuss disagreement and check next steps without assuming that calm delivery or a particular phrase guarantees agreement.
7 min read
Guides
Choosing CBT apps: structured self-help, chat and communication tools
A CBT app should make its approach clear.
3 min read
Guides
Grounding techniques for anxiety: gentle options to try
Simple ways to notice your surroundings, choose comfortable sensory support and pause when an exercise does not help.
3 min read
Guides
Conversation skills: openings, replies and pauses
Use practical examples for joining a conversation, following up, taking a turn, clarifying meaning and leaving.
3 min read
Guides
Dating with social anxiety: plans, preferences and clear messages
Discuss plans, disclosure, consent and follow-up at your own pace, with practical messages and clear limits on what preparation or an app can tell you.
7 min read
Guides
NHS support for social anxiety: preparing the first contact
Find the right starting point for NHS social anxiety support and prepare words for booking, assessment and communication adjustments.
3 min read
Resources
Apps for anxiety: choose between reflection, relaxation and practical support
Anxiety apps cover a broad collection of tools.
3 min read
Guides
Social skills activities for teens, on their terms
Eight optional activities for practising requests, boundaries and everyday conversations without pressure to perform.
4 min read
Resources
Communication apps for autism: compare symbol AAC, text AAC and scripts
The most useful comparison begins with communication method.
3 min read
Communication Skills
Autism conversation skills: practical examples and shared adjustments
Choose a communication task, try optional examples and discuss shared adjustments, with writing, AAC, pauses and individual goals kept central.
8 min read
Resources
Free mental health apps: compare what you can use without paying
A free mental health app can offer a useful exercise or routine, but “free download” is not a description of the whole service.
3 min read
Resources
Apps for ADHD adults: planning, starting and asking for support
An app for ADHD adults is most useful when it has one clear job.
3 min read
Guides
What to do when overwhelmed: one step at a time
Choose a manageable next step, ask for space or practical help, and explore optional Calm Kit exercises without promises of instant relief.
6 min read
Resources
Apps for social anxiety: compare support, cost and devices
Compare structured self-help, relaxation and conversation tools, with free limits, device checks and a practical way to choose.
5 min read
Communication Strategies
30 conversation starters for introverts, by situation
Openers for gatherings, work, shared interests and messages, with follow-ups, pauses and ways to finish a conversation.
8 min read
Communication Strategies
Autism conversation starters: eight clear ways to begin
Conversation starters for autistic adults at work, with friends and in messages, with optional follow-ups, exits and communication choices.
6 min read
Communication Tools
Autism communication tools: digital options and a practical backup
Communication support should remain available when a battery runs out, a device is being repaired or the environment makes a screen awkward.
3 min read
Social Skills
Social skills for autistic adults: support on your own terms
Choose social goals that matter to you. Find scripts, communication adjustments and ways to prepare for work, friendships and family conversations.
6 min read
Resources
Apps for autistic adults: choose tools for your day
Compare planning, conversation, AAC and meditation tools, then test a small everyday toolkit against your preferences, device and budget.
7 min read
Guides
CBT for social anxiety: questions to ask about treatment
Understand the role of CBT for social anxiety and prepare questions about assessment, accessibility and working with a therapist.
3 min read
Resources
Choosing communication tools for autism with the person who will use them
Choosing a communication tool is a shared process led by the communicator’s needs and preferences.
3 min read
Guides
Mental health at work: asking for practical support
Prepare a focused conversation about workload, communication and support, with example wording for employees and colleagues.
4 min read
Guides
Autism communication strategies: agree what helps
Practical ways to agree communication preferences, make requests explicit, allow processing time and support different communication methods.
7 min read
Guides
Social skills training for adults: choosing support
Compare self-guided practice, groups and one-to-one support. Find questions to ask before choosing an adult social skills programme.
7 min read
Guides
What is masking in autism? Choice, effort and support
Understand autistic masking without assuming everyone has the same experience, and find words for communication needs and safer choices.
3 min read
Guides
How to start a conversation: greetings, questions and room to decline
Choose a greeting or practical question, check whether a chat is welcome and respond to the answer, with different formats and clear endings available.
7 min read
Resources
Autism communication apps: what to check on your device before buying
Before paying for a communication app, verify that the particular product runs on your device and provides the kind of support you need.
3 min read
Guides
Body scan meditation for anxiety: a gentle starting point
An optional short body scan, ways to adapt it and alternatives when focusing on body sensations feels uncomfortable.
3 min read
Product
tonen: support before, during and after a conversation
Conversation Scripts, Reply Helper, Perspective Helper, Debrief, Phone Call Mode and Calm Kit: what tonen offers, what is free and how Premium works.
4 min read
Get tonen on the App Store
Start with 21 free scripts, Box Breathing and 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding.
