How to talk to your doctor about ADHD

Start with what is happening in your life and the support you are seeking. You do not have to prove a diagnosis in the first appointment or use clinical language correctly to explain a difficulty.

For example: “I'm having persistent difficulties with attention, organisation and getting tasks started. They're affecting my work and home life. I'd like to discuss whether an ADHD assessment or other support would be appropriate.”

The NHS adult ADHD guide explains that a GP can discuss your difficulties and consider referral for specialist assessment. An assessment can explore ADHD and other possible explanations; a symptom list or conversation script cannot diagnose you.

Write down a few concrete examples

Choose situations that show the difficulty and its impact. You could write:

• “I start several tasks but struggle to finish the one with the deadline.”
• “I lose track of spoken instructions even when I want to follow them.”
• “I spend a lot of effort keeping appointments organised and still miss some.”

Use examples that are true for you. Include when the difficulties started, where they happen and what you have tried. If you have relevant childhood information, bring it, but explain any gaps rather than feeling you must manufacture a complete history.

Explain what is affected

You might want to discuss work, education, relationships, managing home tasks or wellbeing. Describe both visible difficulties and the effort involved in managing them.

“I may appear organised because I use several reminders, but maintaining that system takes a lot of effort.”

Also mention other health concerns, medicines or significant changes that you think may be relevant. Let the clinician help work out what information matters.

Ask for a conversation format that helps

“I've brought notes. Can I read from them?”

“I need a moment to process the question.”

“Could you write down the plan and what I should do next?”

If you want someone with you for support, ask the practice about bringing them. You can also ask how to share a written summary before or during the appointment.

Ask about next steps

Useful questions include:

• “Do you think a specialist referral is appropriate, and why?”
• “What does the local assessment pathway involve?”
• “What support is available while I wait?”
• “Who should I contact if I do not hear anything?”

In England, provider choice may apply when an appropriate NHS referral is made. Eligibility and available services matter; ask the GP and read the NHS information on choices and referrals rather than assuming every provider or appointment qualifies.

If a referral is not recommended

Ask for the reasoning and what would happen next:

“Could you explain what makes a referral inappropriate at this stage, and what support or follow-up you recommend?”

You can ask about another opinion. The NHS states that there is not an automatic legal right to a second opinion, although you can request one. You can also ask how to raise a concern if you feel important information has not been considered.

Prepare wording without turning it into a performance

A few notes and questions are enough. You do not need to sound especially distressed, especially calm or medically knowledgeable to describe your experience honestly.

tonen's conversation scripts can provide wording for asking for help, clarification or processing time. The app is not an ADHD assessment or diagnostic service.

Explore tonen's current communication tools.