Mental health at work: asking for practical support

A mental health conversation at work can start with a practical problem and a request. You do not have to tell your manager everything about your personal life to explain that a workload, communication pattern or working environment is becoming difficult.

The NHS work-related stress guidance discusses recognising difficulties and finding support. Workplace changes may be part of the answer, but a manager is not a substitute for healthcare when you need clinical advice.

Prepare the change you want to discuss

Choose one or two examples. Explain what is happening, how it affects the work and what might help.

For competing priorities: “There are three urgent tasks due on Friday. I cannot complete all three to the required standard. Can we agree which comes first and what can move?”

For unclear instructions: “I lose track when plans change verbally. Could we put the final decision in writing?”

For interruptions: “I need a period without meetings to complete this accurately. Can we agree a protected block tomorrow?”

These examples are original wording suggestions. They do not establish a legal entitlement or prescribe what you must disclose.

Ask how information will be handled

If you plan to share personal health information, ask who will receive it and how it will be used. You can say: “Before I explain more, could you tell me what you would need to share and with whom?”

The appropriate contact may be your manager, HR, occupational health or another available support route. Check your organisation's arrangements. If the first person is not the right contact, ask who can help with the specific issue.

Keep the conversation focused on a workable next step rather than trying to justify your entire history.

Agree an action and a review point

A helpful conversation ends with something concrete: a priority decision, a changed communication format or another appointment. Ask for a short written summary if it would help.

Try: “Can we confirm what we are changing this week and when we will review whether it is helping?”

If the adjustment is not helping, use examples to revisit it. That is information about the plan, not proof that you are failing to cope.

Supporting a colleague

Describe what you have noticed without diagnosing them. “You seem under a lot of pressure; would you like to talk or discuss the workload?” leaves more choice than telling someone they are burned out.

Respect a decision not to discuss personal details. Ask before sharing information, while following appropriate urgent safety procedures if there is a serious immediate concern.

Our workplace conversation scripts provide more examples. tonen can help you prepare words, but it does not replace organisational support, professional care or advice about your individual employment situation.