tonen: support before, during and after a conversation

When you don't know what to say. tonen is an iPhone app with conversation scripts and support for autistic people, people with ADHD, other neurodivergent people and people with social anxiety.

You might know what you need but struggle to phrase it. You might be staring at a reply, preparing for a phone call or replaying a conversation afterwards. tonen gives you different tools for those moments, without asking you to become a different person.

Before the conversation: find a starting point

Conversation Scripts provide wording for situations across work, family, health, education and social life. You can compare Direct, Warm, Firmer and Softer wording, then choose what fits. Scripts also offer ways to pause, leave a conversation or ask for support.

A script is a starting point you can adapt. You do not need to memorise it, force eye contact or copy someone else's communication style.

For example, if you need more time to answer:

“I'd like to think about that before I respond. Can I come back to you tomorrow?”

That example was written for this guide. Explore more conversation script examples or choose a situation in the app. If saying the words aloud helps, you can read them to yourself or practise with someone you trust. tonen does not record or score a simulated conversation.

In the moment: choose the kind of help you need

Reply Helper supports you when you have a message to answer and need help drafting a response. Check that any suggested wording is accurate and says what you intend before sending it.

Phone Call Mode, available with Premium, helps you prepare for and follow a call with prompts. It is useful when keeping your opening, questions and next steps in view would help you stay on track.

Calm Kit offers Box Breathing, 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding, Body Scan and Safe Place. Choose an exercise that feels comfortable, adapt it or stop if it does not help. You can also take a break from the conversation.

An example pause line:

“I'm finding it hard to take this in. Could we pause and come back to it?”

Afterwards: reflect without treating a guess as a fact

Perspective Helper can suggest possible ways to understand a confusing message or situation. It cannot know another person's intentions. A suggestion is something to consider alongside the context you know, not proof that someone is angry, joking or being dishonest.

Debrief helps you reflect after a conversation. You can think about what happened and what you might want to do next without needing to resolve every uncertainty.

If the meaning matters, a direct clarification is often more useful than another round of guessing:

“When you said we should revisit this, did you mean changing the plan or checking the timing?”

What is free, and what does Premium add?

You can start using tonen without a subscription. Free access includes:

• 21 conversation scripts.
• Box Breathing and 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding.
• One free request each in Reply Helper, Perspective Helper and Debrief.

Optional Premium adds:

• The full script library and custom scripts.
• Phone Call Mode.
• Body Scan and Safe Place, alongside the free Calm exercises.
• 50 requests per week shared across Reply Helper, Perspective Helper and Debrief.

Prices and eligible trial offers are shown on the App Store purchase screen for your account and region. A Premium trial is separate from the free features; you do not need to start one to try the free version.

Offline use and privacy

Saved scripts and available offline Calm exercises can support you without an internet connection. The AI helpers require online processing. Avoid including names or identifying details that the helper does not need, and read tonen's privacy policy before entering sensitive information.

The app is a communication support tool. It is not a diagnostic service, emergency support or a replacement for professional care. You remain the person deciding what to say and which suggestions fit your situation.

Start with one real situation

Choose the moment that is difficult today. If you need wording, start with a script or Reply Helper. If a call is coming up, prepare your opening and questions. If you are replaying an exchange, consider Debrief or Perspective Helper, with room to leave some things uncertain.

You do not need to work through every feature. One usable sentence can be enough for the next step.

Explore tonen and download it for iPhone.

If you are ready to install an app, the communication-app download guide walks through finding the listing, checking the purchase information and choosing a first task. Start with the free features and check the current App Store details for your device and region.