Asking a question without fear of looking stupid
“I want to make sure I have understood this correctly. Could you clarify the part about [specific detail]?”
Explore tonenConversation support for people with social anxiety
Social anxiety does not go away with generic confidence advice. tonen gives you the actual words — prepared in advance, practised privately, ready when you need them.
Free to start. Optional Premium. iPhone only.
Prepare an opening without predicting the whole conversation
You may worry before, during or after an interaction. A short script gives you a starting point, but it cannot remove uncertainty or control another person. Pick one request and leave room for their reply.
It does not promise to cure anxiety. It gives you a tool that makes specific conversations less daunting by removing the real-time pressure of finding words under stress.
What tonen helps with
Conversations you have been putting off
Choose a short opening line for one conversation. You do not have to feel perfectly ready before taking a small step.
Saying no without a guilt spiral
Clear, respectful wording for declining requests without over-explaining or apologising excessively.
Work conversations that feel high stakes
Asking for help, flagging a problem, or talking to a manager — scripts that reduce the fear of saying the wrong thing.
Decoding ambiguous messages
Perspective Helper can suggest several possible readings. Treat them as possibilities, then ask a clear question if needed.
Checking your own tone before sending
Use Reply Helper to draft a response you can review and edit. It cannot guarantee how the recipient will react.
Grounding when anxiety spikes
The Calm Kit provides breathing tools and grounding exercises for before, during, or after a stressful interaction.
Example wording to adapt
Examples written for this page. Change the details and keep the wording that fits your situation.
Declining an invitation
“Thank you for the invite. I am not going to be able to make it, but I hope it goes really well.”
Explore tonenFollowing up on something without over-apologising
“I just wanted to check in on this — is there anything you need from me to move it forward?”
Explore tonenSetting a work boundary
“I want to be upfront — I do not have capacity to take this on right now without it affecting my other commitments.”
Explore tonenAsking for reassurance without it feeling needy
“I would find it helpful to know if the direction I am taking is right before I go too far. Is there time to check in briefly?”
Explore tonenEnding a conversation that is going too long
“I need to get back to what I was working on, but this has been really helpful. Thanks for the chat.”
Explore tonenWays to use a script when you feel anxious
Choose one opening line instead of planning every possible reply
Try a brief read-through, then take a manageable next step
Compare possibilities without treating any interpretation as certain
Start with the free tools
Start with 21 free scripts, Box Breathing, 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding and one free use each of Reply Helper, Perspective Helper and Debrief. Premium adds the full script library, Phone Call Mode, Body Scan, Safe Place and 50 requests per week shared across the three Helpers.
Available for iPhone. Scripts and available Calm exercises work offline; Helpers need internet.