Pulling back from an impulsive commitment
“I said yes when I should have checked my capacity first. I am not going to be able to do this after all — I am sorry for the back-and-forth.”
Explore tonenCommunication support for adults with ADHD
If you lose your thread, reply before you are ready or forget a point you wanted to make, tonen gives you wording to prepare and refer to during the conversation.
Free to start. Optional Premium. iPhone only.
Keep your next point in front of you
You might want support with remembering a request, pausing before a reply or changing a commitment. Pick the situation that matters to you; people with ADHD do not all communicate in the same way.
Use a short script as a starting point. Add the task, deadline or question you need to discuss, and keep it available while you talk.
What tonen helps with
Pausing before a reply
Keep a pause line ready: I want to think about this before I answer. Choose when to return to the conversation.
Organising thoughts before a meeting
If planning words under pressure is difficult, Prepare your key points in advance instead of winging it and forgetting half of what you meant to say.
Difficult conversations you keep avoiding
If you have been putting off a conversation, choose one opening line and one clear request to start with.
Following up without sounding passive aggressive
Find neutral check-in scripts that do not accidentally sound like a chase or a complaint.
Setting limits when you have over-committed
Scripts for pulling back from something you agreed to impulsively — without burning the relationship.
Checking tone before you send
Reply Helper suggests possible wording. Review it against your meaning; it cannot predict how another person will respond.
Example wording to adapt
Examples written for this page. Change the details and choose words that sound like you.
Asking for more time before responding
“I want to give this a proper answer. Can I come back to you tomorrow rather than replying right now?”
Explore tonenFollowing up on something without sounding pushy
“Just checking in on this — no rush, just wanted to make sure it did not get lost.”
Explore tonenExplaining that you need written instructions
“I process things better when I have them in writing. Could you send a quick summary after we talk?”
Explore tonenApologising for interrupting
“I jumped in before you finished — sorry about that. What were you saying?”
Explore tonenEnding a conversation that is going on too long
“I need to get back to something — can we pick this up later? I want to give it proper attention.”
Explore tonenWays to use tonen when preparation helps
Keep the wording in front of you rather than remembering it all
Reply Helper offers wording you can edit before sending
Read a script quietly or aloud, then choose a manageable next step
Start with the free tools
Start with 21 free scripts, Box Breathing, 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding and one free use each of Reply Helper, Perspective Helper and Debrief. Premium adds the full script library, Phone Call Mode, Body Scan, Safe Place and 50 requests per week shared across the three Helpers.
Available for iPhone. Scripts and available Calm exercises work offline; Helpers need internet.